Respecting Your Husband

I am working on some material to help disrespectful wives. I thought I would try some of it out on my readers! would love some feedback.

Acknowledge Your Total Dependence Upon God.

First of all, you must depend upon the Holy Spirit. He alone can change your sinful heart. Respecting your husband, especially when you don’t feel like it or when he doesn’t “deserve” it, is a supernatural act. In your flesh, you will be prone to give into your feelings and live for your own kingdom causes! It takes daily dependence upon the Lord, to do what you don’t feel like doing and to live in light of His eternal Kingdom. If respect is a major battlefield for you, fall on your face before the Lord (literally) and cry out for His strength, wisdom and grace (supernatural help from heaven) to walk in faith and obedience to His commands.

What is dependence? It is trust and reliance. Think about the people you trust, why do you trust them? Undoubtedly, because you deem them reliable. Their character and actions give credence to their words; you believe them because they have proven themselves. These are the people you can call on night or day, they laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry, in a crisis they are your "go to" people. Dependence upon God involves trusting Him and relying on Him. How do you cultivate this type of dependence? It begins with saturating your mind with the Word of God and learning to pray biblically for your marriage.

You come to know God as He talks to you through His Word. The Scriptures tell you who God is and what He requires of you. God has given you a historical account of His love; His proven faithfulness. If you don’t trust God maybe it’s because you don’t really know Him. Knowing God is a one time event (coming to Him through faith in Christ) but it’s also a process of learning and seeing His excellencies throughout your lifetime. If you struggle with trusting God’s Word, I want to encourage you to study His attributes. Knowing God, as He is found in the Scriptures, chases away the fear of trusting Him.

God’s Word not only reveals Who God is but also gives us a blueprint for godly living. The way you demonstrate you have faith in someone is by relying on them for counsel, strength, resources, or whatever the need may be. You must rely upon God’s Word to instruct you in God’s ways. The Bible says us, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). You can rely on God’s Word to teach you God’s standards for a husband, a wife, and his design for marriage. You can rely on God’s Word to convict you when you are out of sync with God’s revealed will. You can rely on God’s Word to show you how to correct your wrong motivations, attitudes, words and actions. And you can look to God’s Word to show you how to develop a lifestyle characterized by godliness. Depending on the Lord means you choose His ways over your own ways; regardless of your feelings or past experience.

Another practical demonstration of dependence is prayer. Prayer is how you talk to God. Through prayer you praise God, reminding yourself of His attributes and His works. Prayer is the avenue by which you confess your sins to Him, receiving forgiveness and cleansing and a clear conscience. And, prayer is the means by which you seek God’s help to be the wife you cannot be apart from His work in your life. Is your desire to respect your husband lacking? Cry out to God. Is your understanding of how to go about it wanting? Cry out to God. Have you grown weary in well doing? Cry out to God. Listen to the psalmist, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm 62:8). Respecting your husband can be a difficult command to obey, when it is, fly to Jesus in prayer. I want to encourage you to learn how to pray biblically for your marriage. What is biblical praying? It is praying for those things which are agreeable to the will of God. For instance, let’s say I think we need a new car. I could pray, “God, please put it on Paul’s heart to buy me a new car. I would really like it to be tan with leather interior and could you throw in the gps and dual dvd players! You know our car is old Lord and has many miles and we need a new one!” Or I could pray, “Lord, please help us to be good stewards of our finances and possessions. I pray you will direct Paul in how we can best use our finances to honor you. I pray you will give him knowledge and wisdom to make the right decision about our transportation needs. Help me to offer good counsel, to be content with what I have or what I get, and to trust you to work through Paul.” Do you see the difference? One prayer is all about me! It reads like a wish list to Santa Clause. The second prayer has God as it’s focus and acknowledges my husbands headship and my desire to be a helper to him.

Deepening respect for your husband starts and ends with a deepening dependence upon the Lord. Your relationship with your husband, especially if it’s difficult, could be the very thing God is using to drive you to depend on Him.

Points to Ponder:
1. What has helped you grow in dependence on the Lord?
2. When it is difficult to respect your husband (either because of his sin or yours) how have you seen God use His Word or prayer to bring you to obedience?